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Singer puts tour on hold to care for her beloved dying dog



  • Musician with a rendering of her dog
     Fiona Apple has postponed her South American tour to remain by the side of her beloved dog, Janet. Here she is pictured with a portrait of Janet made by artist Patrick Bucklew. Photo: Beatrice de Gea

    Musician Fiona Apple is postponing her South American tour to tend to her dying dog. On Friday she posted a letter on her Facebook page explaining why she made the decision, hoping her fans will understand.

    Her 14-year-old pit bull Janet suffers from Addison's disease and has a tumor in her chest that has been slowly growing for the past years. Apple writes, "I just can't leave her now, please understand. If I go away again, I'm afraid she'll die and I won't have the honor of singing her to sleep, of escorting her out."

    Apple adopted the dog after she was rescued as a puppy. Janet was found in Echo Park in Los Angeles at just 4 months old. The puppy had a rope around her neck and bites all over her face and ears. She was likely used as a bait dog in dog-fighting. Apple calls Janet a "pacifist" and throughout her life the dog has never barked or growled and is very docile. She writes, "I got her when she was 4 months old. I was 21 then, an adult officially - and she was my child."

    She adds, "Janet has been the most consistent relationship of my adult life, and that is just a fact."

    Singer puts tour on hold to tend to her beloved dying dogJanet has been Apple's constant companion throughout the years and has always been close by. Apple writes, "She was under the piano when I wrote songs, barked any time I tried to record anything, and she was in the studio with me all the time we recorded the last album."

    Apple said the dog "slept in bed with me, her head on the pillow, and she accepted my hysterical, tearful face into her chest, with her paws around me, every time I was heartbroken, or spirit-broken, or just lost, and as years went by, she let me take the role of her child, as I fell asleep, with her chin resting above my head."

    When Apple returned from her last leg of her tour in North America recently, there was a big difference in Janet's energy and Apple could tell her beloved dog was dying. So she plans to be by her best friend's side and to take care of her until the end. Writes Apple, "These are the choices we make, which define us. I will not be the woman who puts her career ahead of love and friendship. She's my best friend and my mother and my daughter, my benefactor, and she's the one who taught me what love is."

    Here's her letter in full from her Facebook page:

    It's 6pm on Friday, and I'm writing to a few thousand friends I have not met yet. I am writing to ask them to change our plans and meet a little while later. Here's the thing.

    Letter written for JanetI have a dog Janet, and she's been ill for almost two years now, as a tumor has been idling in her chest, growing ever so slowly. She's almost 14 years old now. I got her when she was 4 months old. I was 21 then ,an adult officially - and she was my child.

    She is a pitbull, and was found in Echo Park, with a rope around her neck, and bites all over her ears and face. She was the one the dogfighters use to puff up the confidence of the contenders.

    She's almost 14 and I've never seen her start a fight, or bite, or even growl, so I can understand why they chose her for that awful role. She's a pacifist.

    Janet has been the most consistent relationship of my adult life, and that is just a fact. We've lived in numerous houses, and jumped a few make shift families, but it's always really been the two of us.

    She slept in bed with me, her head on the pillow, and she accepted my hysterical, tearful face into her chest, with her paws around me, every time I was heartbroken, or spirit-broken, or just lost, and as years went by, she let me take the role of her child, as I fell asleep, with her chin resting above my head.

    She was under the piano when I wrote songs, barked any time I tried to record anything, and she was in the studio with me all the time we recorded the last album.

    The last time I came back from tour, she was spry as ever, and she's used to me being gone for a few weeks every 6 or 7 years. She has Addison's Disease, which makes it dangerous for her to travel since she needs regular injections of Cortisol, because she reacts to stress and to excitement without the physiological tools which keep most of us from literally panicking to death.

    Despite all of this, she’s effortlessly joyful and playful, and only stopped acting like a puppy about 3 years ago. She's my best friend and my mother and my daughter, my benefactor, and she's the one who taught me what love is. I can't come to South America. Not now.

    When I got back from the last leg of the US tour, there was a big, big difference. She doesn't even want to go for walks anymore. I know that she's not sad about aging or dying. Animals have a survival instinct, but a sense of mortality and vanity, they do not. That’s why they are so much more present than people.

    But I know that she is coming close to point where she will stop being a dog, and instead, be part of everything. She’ll be in the wind, and in the soil, and the snow, and in me, wherever I go. I just can't leave her now, please understand.

    If I go away again, I’m afraid she'll die and I won't have the honor of singing her to sleep, of escorting her out. Sometimes it takes me 20 minutes to pick which socks to wear to bed. But this decision is instant. These are the choices we make, which define us. I will not be the woman who puts her career ahead of love and friendship.

    I am the woman who stays home and bakes Tilapia for my dearest, oldest friend. And helps her be comfortable, and comforted, and safe, and important. Many of us these days, we dread the death of a loved one. It is the ugly truth of Life, that keeps us feeling terrified and alone.

    I wish we could also appreciate the time that lies right beside the end of time. I know that I will feel the most overwhelming knowledge of her, and of her life and of my love for her, in the last moments. I need to do my damnedest to be there for that. Because it will be the most beautiful, the most intense, the most enriching experience of life I've ever known. When she dies.

    So I am staying home, and I am listening to her snore and wheeze, and reveling in the swampiest, most awful breath that ever emanated from an angel. And I am asking for your blessing.

    I'll be seeing you.

    Love, Fiona

    Fiona Apple with a rendition of dog Janet in the background
    Fiona Apple with a rendition of dog Janet in the background. Photo: Facebook


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    Comments on this Article

    Worst feeling in the world, when you know the time has come and you have to let your pet go.
    Beautiful story. You did the right thing. I grew up with a dog that was my best friend too. His name was Killer. Everyone thought he was mean but he loved kids. I still miss him.
    Fiona, thank you for sharing with us. It is the most difficult thing to watch you precious dog slide away from you, it is something that we owe them to be there with them in these scary and hard times. You will always be glad that you made this decision. When the time comes your heart will ache like never before but you will be relieved that she now is better. If your fans don't understand why you needed to be there for Janet then they don't know what a real love is about. I am proud of you and will now be a fan of you the person.
    i am very sorry for the condition of your dog. i too, had my lowliest moment when my chloe, julius, julio, julia and jule died of epidemic i cried hard, burried them near each other in my backyard
    I have comforted all 3 off my beloved pets during their journey to Rainbow Bridge....Prayers to you my friend.
    I really admire everyone who has the heart to know the importance of having a dog. Such marvelous gift of friendship..........
    Fiona Apple is my kind of human being and animal lover! I have been doing the same thing with my dog "Hannah" for the last year. She has diabetes and recently had eye surgery that left her unable to walk (2 months ago) and I WILL NOT abandoned her in her time of need. She's been my best friend for 12 years and she deserves what I can do for her now!
    oh fiona, i am so sorry you are losing her, you captured so beautifully what i felt when i lost Niki, my best friend for 15 years...he was such a huge part of me , i am still not over losing him and that was 10 years ago this last july. he was truly the love of my life. i am so glad you are going to be with her when she moves on to the next place...and just know that you aren't alone, she will always be with you, take care fiona :)
    you are a true dog lover and have my respect i so say to hear your sweet dog is dying i think to postponing your tour , is truly shows how much you love your dog.
    I think your desision making process is right where it should be, we get a pet and soon come to realize they are an important part of our life like a child I agree with Darren if you have family that needs you and my dogs are as much family as my children you stay home from work and take care of them ,your heart is in the right place.I pray for Janet to feel as good as she can for as long as she can. Good luck
    I glad to see you put your best friend Janet ahead of fans. This made me tear eye a little bit. Janet will always be with you when she is gone. You need to spend this time with her for the both of you
    Your letter was so beautiful and personally meaningful I had to stop reading 3 times because I was literally sobbing. My 12 year old doberman, Bernis, has had a slow growing cancer for about 5 years. I just found out this morning that it has probably, and finally reached her lymph nodes. I know she is dying........ ' I promise to do my best to keep you comfortable and happy, my girl, and to make the best decisions when it comes to your well being, even the hard ones. You are my best friend. I will give you lots of good things to eat and the best spot next to me on the sofa.' I am struggling to make ends meet these days, hard times, but if I hear one more person tell me to "give up your animals" I'm going to go get the gun. They are the only beings that I can depend upon and trust, I WISH I could say otherwise. I am so happy and grateful to you for putting yourself out there, to everyone, about your love for Janet. I hope your words make people stop and realize what love is. God bless and hope all of our 'endings' are peaceful and full of love. Rock Out, Deborah
    I know how it feels to lose an animal you've loved for 14 years. My dog, Lillie, died 2 years ago this january. My only regret was not being there to hold her when she passed. Little did I know, I got the closure I needed at the time when I had a dream about her later that week. In the dream, she showed up at my door and we ran and played until dark. Then I went to sleep (in the dream) and when I woke up again (in the dream) she was still at the door dying again. She died in my arms and it made me feel so much better to have had one last day with her...even if it wasn't really a day.
    What a blessing that you decided to show the same loyality to your "baby", as she has done for you. Fiona, you made the right choice, no matter what anyone else thinks or believes, for you are there when she needs you, putting Janet and her needs before money. That is the way it should be.
    I'm so sorry that a member of your family is sick but the two of you are so lucky to have each other at this time. If your fans don't understand any of this than they don't have a special member to take care of. I lost both of my dogs at 14 years old,one in 2009 and other 2010 and it was so hard to have to do. Shadow and Peanut were my buddies and like to follow me everywhere. I would have to put Shadow in his cage or he would tear up my house and Peanut would lay next to him in his bed. My husband worked at night so Shadow would sleep in his spot and Peanut would go under the blankets by my feet. When they past their space in my bed was so empty. I got Tootsie in 2012 and she I'd my best friend. She has made her sleeping spot right above my head. My daughter said that sounds like a cat but she likes it there. If she gets cold she goes under the blankets in the middle of me and my husband. My husband likes big dogs so I was not to sure what he would say about her but she is his buddy and loves to go outside with him. They have their special little games,just for him and her......Shadow and Peanut will meet at the bridge ๐Ÿ‘ฃwhen my time comes and we will take up we're we left off at......๐Ÿถ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿบ......playing their favorite game๐ŸŽพ Take care of each other and if you need someone to talk to I'm on Facebook Loretta Bonsall Millan Good luck and a pray is with you both........๐Ÿ’•
    You have just become my new favorite artist! I am so impressed with your decision to stay home with your best friend while she passes on to the rainbow bridge to wait for the day the two of you are reunited. I am forever your fan! Blessings, and I hope your sweet girl passes on quickly without pain. Much Love to you both.
    God bless you Fiona!!!! The world needs more people like you!!!! Be strong!!!!!!
    God bless you, Fiona. Enjoy your last moments with Janet -- you are doing the right thing.
    Beautiful feelings from your heart. I imagine how you feel at this moment. The words you shared are so emotional and I hope you can find some comfort for Janet she will always be with you this is a forever companion. May God be with you and Janet and keep you in the palm of his hand. I have lost some best friends that were dogs and it is the saddest, lonliest time ever. Thank you for caring enough to stay with her. I admire you and your courage to ignore fame and fortune. Love, and peace to you and Janet.
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