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Cuddletime_thumb By Sarah Kahn | November 09, 2013 | Answers (29)

Almost 2 weeks ago, we had to put my Charle-bear down because she got bloat and a twisted stomach for the second time. She was a Cavalier. She was almost 13 and I have lived with her for more than half my life. How do I adjust to not seeing her when I come home? I feel so lost and alone. I hurt. Am I the only one who experienced this? Is bloat a common thing in small dogs? I miss my cuddle bug so badly it hurts. 

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Sarah, I know how you feel. I lost my little dachshund, Peabody a few weeks ago. She was 15 years old, we had her since she was 8 weeks old, passed away from renal failure which was detected a year ago. We took very good care of her for a year and she was fine. but her kidneys gave out a couple weeks before she passed away We did not put her to sleep. We kept her comfortable with fluids everyday and nausea medication. It was very sad but I would not have done it any other way. God authorizes us to treat the pain but does not authorize us to take the life of the dying. "GIVE STRONG DRINK TO HIM THAT IS READY TO PERISH AND WINE TO THEM THAT BE OF HEAVY HEART. We have pain medicine now to treat the pain. Peabody passed away at home with us in my bed, on my birthday. I am still very sad and I still cry. We got a 2 year old dachshund now. He was a rescue dog. We got him in memory of our Peabody. His name is Flash and he lives up to his name. We love him and he is very active and keeps us busy. But he will never take the place of our Peabody. But we gave him a forever home instead of him being locked in a cage in a shelter. I do everything for him I did for Peabody. He sleeps on her bed, I cook for him, I talk to him, play with him. He does ease the pain and keeps us busy and fills the void. So I would say it is okay to get another dog when you are ready because for me, the emptiness was really bad. Yes it is the emptiness that is really bad. I have been on the internet reading and looking at everything, I guess just to keep connected to everything that has to do with my Peabody passing away. It is very hard. Thanks to everyone for letting me read your story. And for me being able to tell you my story. Mary
Sarah I lost my gentle giant Jake on the 21st of October 2013 ,I'm grieving ,miss him everyday , I miss his soft fur ,I miss his bark and miss the meeting at the front door after a day at work . Jake was a huge part of our family life and we just miss him .Sarah i know how you feel ,the only thing I can tell you it will pass ,it was not the first time for me but if you really care about a four legged friend ,the pain is the same .Take comfort that you beloved pet in no longer in pain and that is crossing the rainbow bridge and it is waiting to see you when the time comes !
Time will heal.. But he will remain in your heart forever. I lost my first dog 3 years ago. And I adopted another dog to feel the void. New love bonds again.. But the new dog was never a replacement and never will be. I will always remember the happy times we spent together. I fact after reading this article, I start to miss him again and my eyes swell...
Dear Sarah, No words can really ease the pain and emptiness you feel. Time does help a bit. You do start to get used to her not being there . Although there will be times when it hits you so hard again. I lost my boy, Finn, a small border collie in May this year. He was 17 years 8 months and he had been with me since he was 7 weeks old. I still feel the emptiness and writing this to you brings tears. Love and best wishes. Helen x
Dear Sarah, I am so broken for you. Let me say from the start, have you any idea what a wonderful life he had with you, the joy you brought him, the love. Also dear, as we say, he will be waiting for you over Rainbow Bridge well and happy and young again. Weep all you may but weep your you, remember he is young and healthy once more. Look out for signs he has come to say thank you and hello. Angels on your pillows.
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=341001889331083&set=pb.315666321864640.-2207520000.1384152712.&type=3&theater>>>>> “Dogs, lives are short, too short, but you know that going in. You know the pain is coming, you're going to lose a dog, and there's going to be great anguish, so you live fully in the moment with her, never fail to share her joy or delight in her innocence, because you can't support the illusion that a dog can be your lifelong companion. There's such beauty in the hard honesty of that, in accepting and giving love while always aware that it comes with an unbearable price. Maybe loving dogs is a way we do penance for all the other illusions we allow ourselves and the mistakes we make because of those illusions.” ― Dean Koontz,
I understand your broken heart Sarah. I am so sorry. I lost my dog Chance (Chanceyboy), a beautiful Chesapeake Bay Retriever, to heart failure on Mothers Day, 2010. He died in my arms and I didn't think I'd ever get over the loss of my beautiful boy. And fact is, I haven't. But my heart has healed enough that it doesn't feel like it's on the outside of my chest any more. And where some get a pet fairly soon after the loss, It has taken me a little over 3 years to be ready to do this again. As it happens, I have my eye on a little dog, a poodle/basset hound mix (haha really, what a combination huh?) at our local rescue ranch. Her name is Penny. She isn't anything like my mighty Chesapeake, and that's fine because one dog never replaces another. But I know that she will capture my heart and we will have many wonderful years together, keeping each other company and making memories. Hang in there Sarah, it will get easier and the day will come when your heart is ready for another wonderful companion. I pray that day comes sooner rather than later. And you will never forget your Charle-bear, just like I will never forget my Chanceyboy.
Sarah, First of all, please accept my condolences for your very painful loss. Second, please find what comfort you can in the fact that so many people have reached out to try to comfort and guide through your grief in a loving way. Your message indicates that you are a young adult so it is especially important that you understand that what you are feeling now is not the rest of your life. No, that doesn't mean that you will become hard or insensitive or that your love for your beloved Charlie-bear will wane, just that it will become part of a much larger life than what you know now. Two months before my birth, my parents adopted a puppy they named Friskie. He and I grew up together and he was my boyhood best friend. During his life we adopted three cats and another puppy. It seemed as if anybody had kittens or puppies that needed a home my parents would adopt one. I loved all of those little friends but, for various reasons, all but Friskie died young. I cried for all of them, usually in my mother's arms, her tears mingled with mine. But I still had Friskie, who was a wonderful dog, growing from a small puppy to a gentle giant. When I entered my teens, Friskie started having heart trouble. A dedicated vet kept Friskie going pretty strong but one day, when we were 16 years old, coming home from school, I found Friskie's lifeless body in the front yard. His great heart had beat its last. My whole family mourned the loss. Today, I am 61 years old and I still get teary as I write this but I am also at peace with it. I have experienced the loss of my parents, my marriage, my daughters and numerous pets who were precious to me. My heart aches for all of these but I have perspective. Today, I have four cats. Each of them, especially the younger three, could easily outlive me and my great concern for them is to do the best I can to give them good, healthy, safe lives and to provide another home for them in the event that they survive my passing. I love each of them dearly and will surely be heartbroken again if something bad happens to any one of them while I still live but I know that as surely as we are born, we all must die. The best any of us can hope for is favorable scheduling and a peaceful passing. One thing that has helped me in the past fifteen years or so to deal with the passing of a beloved pet is to take on the responsibility of caring for yet another. Before that, I would sometimes let years pass without a pet. Caring for another is better. My heart goes out to you, Sarah. Young hearts are tender, not yet having developed scar tissue. If I may, let me suggest this to you; make your life large. Reach out to others in need and give them what help you can. Make others' problems important to you. That isn't to say that you should be a busybody but there are always people and animals in need who will willingly and gratefully accept your outstretched hand. Charlie-bear will always know that you love him, even when your are old and grey.
Hi Sarah, I'm sorry for your loss. I've had to say good-bye to my furkids in the past and it's the toughest thing ever. I had to let my little Pomeranian Mickey go in March 2012 at the age of 16. He had congestive heart failure for a few years, but the night he went, he went into seizures and he never came out of it. I fell into a deep depression as I was also still grieving over my mom's death about 4 months earlier. Three days later my heart was gripped by the photo of a scabby, nearly hairless choco-lab with the saddest eyes just rescued by a local no-kill animal rescue--she was in bad shape and they were looking for an emergency foster home to help her heal. I took her in and figured we could help each other. She's still with me :) I've fostered 4 rescues so far, 2 with special needs and it's been the best decision ever. I still choke up when I see a picture of Mickey, but I help other fur friends in his honour. They steal our hearts and leave us way to soon. Hugs to you.
Dear Sarah.....When my dog had to be put down,I had a pain so deep in my heart and stomach,it physically hurt,there was such a bad lump in my throat,it hurt to talk...I felt like the room was spinning,and it was hard for me to breath,I was so upset.I have never experienced that kind of pain like that before,I didn't know what to do.I just took it one day at a time,the crying will start to lessen as the days go by,and finally you will get to a point of acceptance,and the pain will start to go away little,by little,until you find yourself able to cope,and start living again as usual.You will have days that the very thought of your puppy will make you cry hard,and you will have many more days,when you can think of the fond memories you had with your puppy.I still think of my dog tanner now and then,and watch old videos of him,I miss him so much,but me,along with every other human who has loved their animal,will tell you,that in time you will feel much better,and I have 3 dogs now,who I love just as much as I loved tanner,which tells me that you can indeed fall just in love with any future animals you may chose to get,but you will always have that special place in your heart for little charlie bear....my prayers are with you,we all feel your pain,and Sarah,I promise you,that you will better soon.....RIP Charlie bear
My heart goes out to you. I had to put my beloved black lab to sleep 12 years ago after 15 years of love and companionship. 6 months later I got a coonhound who passed away on July 26.2013. The initial pain is unbearable but it does become manageable over time. Eventually you can look at pictures and not fall apart, and memories bring happiness, not tears. My lab has been gone 12 years and I still miss him, but remembering him makes me laugh not cry. Look up petloss.com it is a very supportive pet loss on line group. Peace and healing. You will be reunited with your love when you cross the rainbow bridge.
I hope you just let nature tell you when it's time for another pet to love; certainly not to replace your friend, but someone to share your love with. For me, it took a year, but that is different for everyone! And, I am so sorry for your loss!
It's been almost 5 years since my Hankster died of cancer and I think of him every day; certainly the pain is not as acute, but I don't think we ever get over our loss of a loved pet! I don't mean to sound corny, but I do find some comfort in the "Rainbow Bridge" poem: Rainbow Bridge Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable. All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind. They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart. Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together.... Author unknown...
My deepest and sincerest condolences. I lost my lab mix, Shelby, last year. He was 12 years old and had a heart attack, twice. We nursed him for six months. He was playful and loving right to the end when the second one took him from us. It still hurts. I think it always will and I'm okay with that. They're so amazing and loving, aren't they? Hugs. Again, I'm sorry for your loss.
Sarah, I have no words to make the pain go away. I have lost my furbabies in my lifetime, unfortunately they dont live as long as us. I have heard it is because it takes them a lot less time to learn unconditional love. I like to think that they are waiting for us over the rainbow bridge. If this is true I will have a lot of company after I leave this life. :) I believe that getting another furbaby isnt replacing the other, it is giving you a place to give the love that you were taught by them with another. Give yourself time to grieve and then take the love you learned to make another animal feel loved. Remember, you cant save everyone, but to an adopted animal you are everything.
Sarah, there is no time frame for which your pain is going to disappear, especially if you've had your baby since you were a kid. Take your time, don't put a clock to it. I found writing helped me a lot and talking to other people. Move on a little bit every day and if you need to get another animal; not to replace your cuddlebug, but to allow yourself to do something with all the love you have. I'm so sorry for your loss. It hurts, it's sad and you never really get over it. I'm 53 years old, have had numerous cats and dogs in my life, but my little "Muffet" will also have a major place in my heart. That's just what our 4 legged family members do to us. They can reduce grown men to blubbering idiots. That's what makes them special. Good luck sweetie. You'll get through this.
So sorry for your loss. There are no words to help with the pain. It has been a month since we lost our 12 year old Lab Lady and I still cry myself to sleep.
Sarah..My heart goes out to you....Everyone has covered nearly every thing that could be said. We had to put our 15 yr old boxer mix down in August. The only thing I could add to the others is just have a good cry when you feel like it. It seemed to help me (and I'm a guy). Good luck.
Everyone is different. When I lost my first dog as an adult living on my own I decided fairly soon after that I needed to get a new friend. Not because he could be replaced but because I was coming home every night and crying and dwelling on pain. I knew I wanted another dog, I knew I would always one or more in my life and decided to start looking. I wasn't just going to get any dog I knew when I found the right one I would know. It just happened to have been soon. If you think you would like another dog, consider if you could do it now or if you feel you want to wait. But an option for you could be to volunteer at your local shelter, share all the love that you used to give to your baby. You could also foster, there are a lot of rescues that need foster parents. I too lost my 13 yr old Nikita a couple of weeks ago, it will take time, I cry everyday for him. I do have two other pups here so it's not empty but it is empty if you understand. It will take time, maybe a lot of time, if you really love someone it is never easy to lose them. Just before I lost Niki I saw a poem that was a dog's will. It basically says that he leaves behind the place he had in his human's heart , of which there seemed no bounds, to go find an unloved dog, one whose life has had no joy and give them my place, only thing I can give is the love I left behind. Just remember the healthy times, I have a picture as my wallpaper of my Niki running to me with a happy face, that's how I prefer to remember him.
Sarah- I am so sorry for your loss. I had to put my 14 years old Mocha to sleep almost a year ago. I held her until she was gone. She was my baby as I don't have children of my own. The loss physically hurt. Your feelings are normal and you will feel them for some time to come. I found I would just be doing random things and then the feeling of loss would wash up over me again (even in public). Take comfort in knowing your are not alone and though you can't imagine this now, the feelings of loss will lessen over time. Hugs to you
Hi Sarah- I too have felt that horrible knot in my throat that just won't go away- losing a pet to me is like losing a child- they love you no matter what- I agree with Lori- get a rescue when your ready, it's so rewarding and they are so appreciative- 3 of them live at my house.. Remember - In Heaven the car windows are always rolled down <3 Hugs
Sarah, I know the pain you're in. I had to put my little girl, Lolli down 9 years ago. She was 16 years old. To this day I miss her like crazy. I have never forgotten her. I have pictures all over my house of her so I do not forget her. So you mourn for your faithful friend, but never forget her. Much love and sympathy to you during this most difficult time. Judi Pulio
All the advice you've gotten is right. It is all dependent on how we grieve so no story is wrong. I said I was absolutely sure I needed to wait a year before I could even think about a new best friend. Then a rescue dog desperately needing a home, three months after my decision was set in stone, stole my heart so I relented. I never forget Remi, I think about her every day. But my new BFF, Vinnie, has helped so much. And knowing he needed a forever home helped me feel less guilty about moving on so soon. I really think how you grieve is intensely personal. But for me, sharing my love with a being that needed me helped so much.
from a four legged friend July 21, 2011 at 12:50pm If it should be that I grow frail and weak ...And pain should keep me from my sleep ...Then you must do what must be done For this, the last battle, can't be won. You will be sad- I understand Don't let your grief then stay your hand For this day, more than all the rest Your love and friendship stand the test. We've had so many happy years What is to come can hold no fears You'd not want me to suffer, so When the time comes, please let me go. I know in time you too will see It is a kindness you do to me Although my tail, it's last has waved From pain and suffering I've been saved. Don't grieve that it should be you Who has decided this thing to do We've been so close, we two these years Don't let your heart hold any tears. Author Unknown i wish i had written this but alas no... i hope this will help..
Al thou I have not gotten thru that path yet. Hang on and remember all the good times you had with you furry kid. When you are ready adopt another shelter dog, but never forget your Charle-bear. I take lots of pics and vids of my three babies when that faithful day comes, so I can remember them in my mind and pics/vids. Bloat is more common in large dogs. Weird in small dogs, but not immune either. I had a friend who recently noticed his dog going thru this. Lucky for him he saw the signs and took his dog to the Emergency vet. I am so so sorry for your loss and hang in there.
I am so sorry Sarah, it is hard to cope with the loss and while it will never go away, you'll start to feel better soon. All I would say is - look how much love you have your fur baby, in time when you're ready, get a rescue dog. That love should go to a dog who deserves it and has never experienced that kind of love. That's what we did and we never looked back! I know I'll always have dogs because even though they leave a terrible void when they cross the rainbow bridge, I know they would want me to give all that love to someone else. Take care x
It's going to take time. That horrible 4 letter word...time. He will always have a large part of your heart. The most difficult part is that you will just miss his physical presence in your house. Sometimes you don't even realize the simple habits you develop that will be prominent now. Give yourself time to grieve. He was a major part of your life for a long time. It's not going to happen over night. Please accept my sympathy on your loss.
Sarah, my heart bleeds for you because I have been down the same path, and more than once. There's no easy answer. My last beloved dog was with me for 16 years and I lost him 3 years ago and it STILL hurts. My advice? Get another dog. I got a rescue dog 3 weeks prior to my last best friend passing away. Though he can never take the place of my "Butchie", my new cuddle buddy (Jimmy) has his own distinctive personality and has been a reminder as to why I love dogs so much. After 3 years of missing my old pal, I can look at his pictures now without completely falling to pieces. I do occasionally rear up but I remember the love now, not the sorrow. I am so sorry for your loss.
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